The Power of Invitation 1-18-26

Waking up this morning, a conversation I had earlier in the week popped into my head and the script in my thoughts was off and running! A friend and I were exploring the idea that so many of the thoughts or sayings our actions on are based on should probably be discarded. There are several reasons why this can be true, but top of the list for me as a child was missing out on a good time. Sayings like “you can’t have your cake and eat it too” (then why bother having it?”)

One of these “sayings” that shaped my earlier years was, “It’s not polite to ask yourself over to someone else’s house.” My curious six-year-old brain wanted the answer to the obvious question that follows: “How are they going to know you WANT to come over if you don’t ask?” I don’t remember the answers I was given, all I knew was the answer was “no” before we even started because of an etiquette rule that made absolutely no sense to me.

This youthful frustration of unmet desires for connection stayed with me, even informing my parenting when my children were growing up! To this day, I (hopefully!) encourage people to “ask! The worst that can happen is they/I say no.” If the answer is “yes” or “not this time, but…” you’ve not only made connection, you’ve planted the opportunity for a future fun time together!

By now, anyone who knows me, knows I thrive in communication – I love talking with people, learning about them and sharing information – not just for knowing some thing, but for getting to know similarities, connections, and common interests - experiencing people. And it’s not just me! Nearly 100 years ago, American psychologist Abraham Maslow proposed a theory of the hierarchy of needs that sought to explain motivation behind human behavior. These needs range from survival to fully realized potential. This is expressed in real life every day as people first seek to meet their physiological needs for air, water, food, and shelter, then their need for safety, security and well-being, advancing on to meaningful connection and relationships, which Maslow says, then leads to recognition, competence, and respect from others and toward yourself, and finally reaching your full potential.

I realized recently I have been most comfortable squarely in the middle in connection with others with peaks and valleys that reach toward “full potential” - which takes more intentional effort than is possible from my “comfort zone”! Many of us discovered how quickly we can be reduced from “connection” to “survival” and how significant the need for connection is when the enforced isolation prescribed to limit the spread of COVID-19 cut off many avenues of connection for billions of people all at once. Many of us learned how vital interpersonal contact is in our daily lives. The repercussions of the disconnectedness in 2020 are still rippling across the generations all over the planet.

This got me thinking, what other erroneous starting places need to be pulled out and examined to test their validity with ‘curious questions’? For example, admonitions for “not airing your dirty laundry in public” can be responsible for the continuation of domestic violence and child abuse. Although wisdom would dictate that you need to be select in who you share certain “sensitive” information with, there are times it is necessary to tell others uncomfortable truth. That’s the only way things change! What about “Don’t talk to strangers” – how else do we meet other people? Again, discernment of timing and situation is key, but we don’t get to know them without saying hi!

I want to make a point of stopping mid-thought and asking myself “what is the supposition behind that behavior or idea?” It is quite possible that some of the things we believe are based on faulty foundations that can be easily discarded in the light of godly curiosity! So Ask! The power of invitation is a great connection builder!