Skiing Through the Ruts 12-5-25

The past few days have been a fountain of opportunities for me to recall and recount situations in my life that have taught (and re-taught) me important lessons that, if I keep focused on the Teacher ☺, I will have a better time navigating the tough spots. Yesterday included one of those situations that would have gone smoother had I kept this in mind! Thankfully, because I had just shared this childhood experience earlier in the day, am in the middle of reading a book on conflict resolution “Confronting Without Offending” by Deborah Smith Pegues – and pulled up a teaching on God’s love called “How God’s Goodness Leads to Transformation” by Dan Mohler – these all combined to lead me to conviction and repentance in minutes instead of hours or days. I am grateful this is so in the Grace and help of the Holy Spirit!

There are situations and interactions with certain people in our lives that are stronger temptations to slip into habitual conflict, but it doesn’t HAVE to drag you backwards if you – if I – re-submit and remember Who has me (and them!) in the palm of His hand!

I had been describing this tendency by recounting an experience from when I was 12. My mother had signed me up to be part of an amazing group called Big Brothers Big Sisters of America. This youth mentoring organization pairs children (Littles) with adult volunteer mentors (Bigs) for one-on-one relationships to give them emotional support, guidance and friendship – often by taking them to fun activities as an opportunity to help kids in difficult living situations achieve success, avoid risky behaviors and build confidence. My Big sister was a local college student who gave me one-on-one time on outings once a month and called me about once a week to check-in with me and offer encouragement and a listening ear during a stressful season in our family. I had never gone skiing before and on one of our outings, she took me to a local ski area for the very first time. I was fitted for skis and boots and we went to the bunny slope – a mild grade where I learned “the snow plow” – forming a wedge with your ski tips pointing together to go slowly down the hill. When you reached the bottom, there was a tow rope that ran continually in a big loop all day long to pull you back up the hill, so you could ski down again. I was so excited! I had seen the winter Olympics with the downhill skiing, the moguls, and the slalom races, skiing back and forth around these flags stuck in the ground and I was looking forward to a short time on the bunny slope and then expected to go on the more advanced area – I mean, it didn’t look difficult! I quickly found that for me, the problem wasn’t going downhill – it was the trip back UP the hill that was the hard part! It looked simple enough: hold the rope, it pulls you to the top. The problem wasn’t the rope. It wasn’t even figuring out how firmly to grip the rope so I had a gentler start up the slope instead of a sudden intense jerk – it was the PATH directly under the rope. After repeatedly towing people up the hill, the pathways that were crushed into the snow from everyone’s skis were ruts that felt more like concrete channels carved into the hillside. And they didn’t stay straight. They crossed and wove back and forth as previous skiers had tried to escape these mini trenches on the way up, trying to stay upright and – like me realized that if they fell (like we did, multiple times!), we needed to roll out of the way quickly so the person who was right behind us holding onto the rope to get back to the top wouldn’t run us over with THEIR skis and fall down.

As I learned this for myself, embarrassingly, multiple times over the course of our 2 (?) hour ski trip, it went from discouraging to exhilarating – not for the ski DOWN the hill – but for successfully making it to the top without falling down, having my skis getting stuck in those ruts and toppling me over.

I remembered this again recently as I was explaining how I felt trying to steer clear of habitual emotional ruts! Interactions with certain people seeming to automatically be in crash and burn mode, knowing my response to familiar patterns often lead to me reverting to impatience, frustration, and dismissive attitudes that left me embarrassed, off-center and feeling run over. In order to prevent this, the instructor had told me to keep a more relaxed grip on the rope, looking upward and forward on the hill and not on my skis, keeping me knees slightly bent, but legs and ankles held firmly forward. And – when I did those things, the skiing experience was a LOT more enjoyable!

Isn’t it great when God uses different past experiences and some timely instruction to teach us how much he loves us – on how to get and STAY out of those ruts!? In Hebrews chapter 12, verses 12 and 13, after talking about how God disciplines and trains us in righteousness, these two verses give us action steps similar to how I was taught how to stay upright and avoid those packed down channels in the snow.

“Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather healed.” Earlier in the chapter, similar to the instructor’s direction, the writer of Hebrews also says where to keep our gaze: “Looking unto Jesus, the author and and finisher of our faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

In trying, “packed down” relational situations we CAN avoid the ruts of past responses by keeping our eyes up and forward, holding on a little looser by taking some comments a little less personally, and keeping our legs under us, so to speak, by bringing our hands and arms close to our bodies, not over reaching too far ahead of ourselves, determining ahead of time where we’re headed with these conversations, not allowing ourselves to be pulled in destructive directions by exercising self-control and displaying the character God has “suited us” with.

Dan Mohler’s teaching reminded me last night that looking down at my feet, focusing on where I’ve been in the past, and being self-conscious about where I’ve fallen before just makes it that much more likely to happen. He said history doesn't have to dictate where we go today. “So many people live in secret condemnation because they’re not living up to their desires. And then they question their own hearts because of their lack of performance” (Wow! That hit the target!) “So don’t wake up and try not to sin …, wake trusting God loves you,... you’re loved, accepted, and forgiven.” Keep your eyes up, your knees and skis pointed forward and know you are loved, accepted and forgiven. This “trip” will be a lot more enjoyable on the rolling hills of our experiences! See you on the slopes! Have a blessed day!